Dealing With Fear Aggression
Weird topic for me, yes? What is stored in our bodies is coming up all over the place. It is best to be forewarned. We may have managed certain responses, but their roots are now being dredged. I have just been on the receiving end of this type of fear-based aggressive energy and had the ‘up close and poisonal’ experience of how it can trigger our physical and emotional bodies.
In trying to obtain assistance with an erroneous billing email, I was confronted by a customer service rep’s fear-aggression-based response to a software glitch. Either the software itself or the tech support person logged in to the support client made a mistake. Cybersecurity would make short work of any claims to the contrary, but most things are not worth that effort.
I was, of course, blamed for the error, which is definitively not the case. I found out that my body still had a stored trigger for being unjustly accused. Then, of course, the customer service {why don’t they just say ‘customer abuse’ and have done with it?} rep blamed me, accused me of wrongdoing, and threatened me with financial ruin.
In subsequent conversations, either someone at his company hosed him down, or he realized that no good outcomes would result from his aggressive behavior. He admitted to ‘being nervous’ and I told him, “No. You aren’t nervous, you’re afraid. Otherwise, you would not have threatened me like that.” All subsequent banking issues aside, {which fallout I am still dealing with} that seemed to be the end of his threatening behavior. Calling a control drama what it is generally works. The ensuing logistical daymare doesn’t bear repeating. I was left exhausted on all fronts and, honestly, laughing when a solution finally seemed to have been reached, and my last Uber driver was a chi gung enthusiast and sound healer with free samples of healing crystals in the back seat of his vehicle. I am always taken care of, and angels come in many forms.
As I released the incident {which is mostly over as soon as the bank releases my accounts back to me}, I pondered the fear-aggression response. Humans are so wired for this, especially those of the male persuasion. When a pattern like this presents itself in our face, it helps to let go of any way we might act this out and all of the ways we judge this behavior. Releasing judgment is up for everyone. We might choose a different route rather than let defensive programming run the show. There is always a solution, and in the same way, there is always a choice. Always.
While I did a fair amount of whingeing throughout the process, for which I wholeheartedly forgive myself, I could see the gifts along the way. I was forcibly ejected from a comfort zone I was comfortably denying I had. I now know the location of a local bank branch {closer than I had previously discovered}. I know what can be done when an app like Uber breaks. I know I can no longer procrastinate on upgrading my phone. And, if I needed any further proof and evidence that I am always taken care of, it was delivered quite efficiently. I also learned that my recent illness sapped more muscle tone than I knew, and I must muscle up a bit before traveling. Falling down in a convenience store, sketchy neighborhood and all, definitely beats falling down in an airport or a long walk. All good information!
When I can remember that the person acting out in a threatening way is responding from FEAR {False Evidence Appearing Real} and Forgetting that Everything is All Right, I can let Source respond through me rather than kowtow to old programming. I can also surmise that this may have been the last gasp of leftover sabotage and persecution patterns. Such is my choice.
It has been an ‘interesting’ couple of days. Apologies for the late delivery of the blog.
May you deal with whatever programs rise up in your field swiftly, efficiently, and from your core. Kindness does not mean allowing yourself to be treated worse than you would treat a child or small animal. The mirror of the past two days has reminded me of this truth. Heart is not a doormat and need not submit to extortion in any dimension.
Tough lessons, lately! Be the still center of every experience, as well as you are able.
~infinite love,
