Deep Solstice Blessings

Here it comes! The Solstice is almost upon us. What have we not yet relinquished? What heaviness has not dropped away from our inner light? What will allow us to flow with our own inner currents? This is what will support us and bless our newly awakening lives.

Of the dying patriarchy, I can remark that it is grasping, manipulating, and holding on with tooth and claw. When we do not let it dissolve, as it must, there is a reason. We are somehow tethered, usually addicted. And, this is almost always unconscious, {at least at this point}.

I had the oddest dreams last night. Solstice window initiations, to be sure. The first took place in darkness. Not a black-and-white dream, but one in which various people were trying to open or shut or control various portals into and out of this reality. I had been invited to join in, which quickly morphed into demands for me to ‘do it’ because ‘they’ were not managing or did not know how to accomplish whatever it was ‘they’ wanted. Frustrated, I went from opening to opening, doing the necessary.

I sprang into action, weaving here, closing there, moving flow through various openings, until it occurred to me that the ‘others’ had all disappeared. What was I doing? I woke up, mid-weaving, my bedroom alive with power. How had I been directing Source’s essence? Was it appropriate? What was going on?

I had left power games behind some time ago, or so I thought. Though my efforts appeared to be in support of others, were they? I splashed water on my face, the energies of the dream still very much with me, and surrendered the power surging through my body into the Great Mother’s heart. It was less a matter of ‘choosing love’ and more one of ‘choosing myself.’ I chose the Source that I AM, which is no one else’s resource, but an expression of my own flow as Infinite Wisdom. I chose as Source.

I felt the collective fear of those portals being left ‘out of control.’ I surrendered them all into Grace. Not my responsibility, nor my job, nor had it been any of my business, really. Fun, playing portal games, but not a reason to manipulate realities at the behest of others. I chose alignment with the Great Mother. For the gazillionth time, I chose Her alignment.

Until the Oneness replaces our contracts for separation and duality, this choice is an intention, and not yet a reality. We choose again and again to make our unique Source essence matter. It then manifests in various aspects of our lives, showing us where and what does matter. And then… we begin to disappear. The more we disappear the more we are. The more matters, and the more manifests.

Light suffused my aura as I returned to bed, unwilling to re-enter that dream.

There is power in our ‘no.’ For those embodied as female, it is bred into our bodies that our ‘no’ is meaningless and will be ignored. It matters not. Therefore, it cannot manifest.

This is the root of our rage. The rage we express toward any and all perpetrators and perpetrations, whether it is justifiable at that moment, or not. And what happens when we cop to the fact that what we are livid with is ourselves? The rage we internalize harms our bodies and pollutes our minds. It tells us stories that prompt us to release our precious internal resources to others in inappropriate ways. It is the war within, that we must end.

When we can truly and humbly admit, ‘all of what still triggers and renders me bound to rage, is myself’ we begin to set ourselves free of self-imposed bondage and torture. This is the shadow work rarely completed on this world. It’s a tough arena and the gladiators are many. “Show me, Source, how this unconscionable behavior is somehow within me?” is a beginning.

We fear to see this. We deny that we have ever acted out in the ways that trigger us most, and we clamp blinders to our eyes as if our lives depend on self-righteous blithering blindness.

Our light depends on us to shine it upon ourselves.

The Solstice mirror is vast, all-encompassing, transcendent, and {believe it or not} all-forgiving. We are learning, after all. When the mirror dissolves into specific reflections, showing us the cascading shards of the old reality construct, we have completed a piece of our shadow work. Ours. No one else’s. That work is not ours to do.

The second dream has faded, now. It was a {much more lightly colored} journey through various ‘spiritual’ situations with many other beings. All situations in which I had the opportunity to say ‘no.’ I felt all the ways, in this life and others, where I had not said ‘no,’ and not for the reason of saying ‘yes’ to Source. That is entirely different.

At one point, I wondered aloud in the dream, “To what am I addicted, that keeps all this in play?” STRENGTH. The word erupted from my subconscious like magma. Strength. A misnomer for power. Projected strength, at that. A strength that could be blamed. How do we blame ourselves or others for being ‘strong?’ How do we fear, blame, or resent true embodiment? Have we ever perceived it? How, if we are blind to its truth?

When I asked to be shown the reality of strength, rather than its patriarchal perpetrations, what Source said was this: “Real Strength is a harmonious blending of supportive energies, as powerful as they need to be in any moment, never overpowering, and impossible to overpower.” I admit to tears of joy. Yes. I have experienced this, as have you. Durga’s Invincible Force, born of the true wellspring of Source. “I am as powerful as I need to be.” Only Source’s Love can so affirm.

This love flows through us all. It is Alpha and Omega. It is the All. Amor Vincit Omnia.

The Solstice tsunami swells. May you let it take you, allowing the old ‘you’ to be reborn.

Solstice blessings, beloveds!
Nalini