You Won't Be "You"

When I was little, all I wanted to do was to sing to Spirit, to celebrate the light. I was fortunate, in that my heart’s yearnings were understood…and perhaps not so fortunate in that I was taught to hide them. Those impulses mattered, more than anything else, and yet they were supposed to remain hidden. “We don’t talk to people out there about these things.” Wise words, actually, despite the patterns they set in motion.

Wouldn’t it be incredible to live in a world where we could simply BE and relate honestly from that being? We remember those worlds, you and I. Not all worlds are like this one. Lest we forget.

I remember having an absolute sense of ‘self.’ Self as Source Essence. So do you, if you’re honest, if you go deep enough. And, it had nothing to do with the world around you. You brought your essence here, to learn, to seed that love, and to integrate more and more Oneness.

As children, we learn about the world and begin to understand that those around us have expectations. It is not only about the ‘house rules.’ People expect a certain ROI {return on investment} for taking care of us, for supporting us, or whatever the situation. Even abusive parents are invested in those behaviors. We grow under the influence of the projections and expectations of those around us, particularly our nurturers. We learn what nurturing is, from experience. But are those facts, the truth?

How often have we heard someone say, “I am going to parent my child(ren) differently from how I was parented!” This is partly the evolution of the species, and partly a balancing act within that person. Typically, the pendulum of duality swings one way, then the other way. How has that swing affected the core of you?

Do you know what nurtures you? Or, are there patterns in your body that still run on childhood defaults? We all have them. They are no more difficult to recognize and resolve than any other type of imprint. It’s just that they are so natural to us we become oblivious to their effects. We tend to recognize any wounding these imprints have perpetrated, but not the truth that we can choose another way.

“It don’t mean a thing, if it ain’t got that swing!” ~ lyrics whose roots lie in the second world war. Talk about polarization! Unity consciousness does not require, nor does it support, a pendulum. Our bodies, however, hold dualistic programming until we bring our light fully into our cellular structures. Perhaps even then, though we don’t know the how of that.

As a little girl, I could see the essence inside everyone and everything. Why couldn’t they? The trees knew. My mother’s roses knew. The dog next door knew. Why don’t humans perceive as openly as the natural world? Why have we forgotten we are part of it? It is because of these imprints. Filters and shell programs we chose to experience. We can also choose to be free of them.

Our alleged separation from Source, or our Original Imprint, is the first degree of bias. However that imprint is stored cellularly can affect us for one lifetime or many, depending on how we perceive and/or process the loss. It is the basis for all layers of default, and its root is fear.

When I had my allegedly final tantrum with Source and was subsequently downloaded a processing technique, I was shown a way to cut through the layers of programming, while allowing the mind-body continuum to remain intact. This is not usual in the enlightenment traditions. Egoic death involves the mind and the body, and there are deep practices followed over many years, sometimes lifetimes, that abolish the roots and seed forms of separation.

Some of you have utilized what used to be Spiritual Root Cause Analysis, then morphed into Hacking the False Matrix, and, finally, evolved into Embodying Fluidity. Only reading about this process provides information, but not transformation. As with anything, one must practice. One must use the technique. But I digress.

With any perceived tragedy, loss, or terror, “What is wonderful about _____?” is a beginning. It re-aligns attention to benefit, rather than lack. This realignment is key as Gaia transitions. Shifting energy from wounding, loss, pain, and fear, and surrendering it into our Source Essence, focusing only on what we choose, creates lasting change.

I was not taught that, as a child. Neither were you. We were born into a different world. Star-borne, at that. Carried here as and from the stellar network to which we belong.

When I was a young twenty-something, I was guided into a new community. It boasted a fully-enlightened Teacher. His students were seemingly dedicated. They wanted enlightenment, this state of being, this thing they projected upon and expected things from. My body knew better, even when my mind did not. So does yours.

And, lighting up from within is the only way through Gaia’s transition. We don’t know what that will look like or how it will manifest. We can know how it feels to be absorbed. You already do. You have had your glorious moments of being. You have them still.

You are well able to relax back into your core GPS and feel what is around you. You can reconfigure at any time. Constantly and consistently. And there is a price. It is what you think.

28 May 1989 ~ A Percussive Jolt
I arrived home from work, went for a run, and did my evening yoga. I stood up from my last pose, felt the room spin around me, and hit the floor again. Lucky for me it was carpeted. A ringing began in my head that persists to this day. It sent me on a journey of transformation through my physical and emotional bodies, that has far outstripped any traditional teachings. It ended my old world and opened bright new paths.

5 June 2009 ~ The Hardware Reboot
I’ve told that story enough times. I experienced a white stroke and a medical miracle. My physical body was re-aligned completely. It had been told, inwardly, that what I incarnated to accomplish, to bring the love of that light fully into one of these bodies, was complete. A big word, that. It spoke to my then-current level of understanding, as our guidance always does. I was months and years in the integration of this reconfiguration. So have you been, with yours.

Adyashanti wrote a book entitled “The End of Your World.” I read it during my recovery, once I could read again. I can report that this experience happens, not once, but as many times, in as many revolutions as we allow it to do so. It begins with letting go of old habits and old dreams. It’s one thing to say you’re going to let go. It’s another thing to do it, to let yourself fall, to let the old fall apart around you. As your very skin sheds, the light within, the N.O.W. that you nurture, becomes stronger.

On-going transformation is not for the faint of heart. It gives one a certain respect for serpents and other skin-shedding reptiles. {no, not those}

I related these circumstances to illustrate the process of morphing in place. We do and will die to old, sloughed-off ways of being.

None of the old selves was “me.” None of these worlds I have shed were what truly mattered. They were lovely, to be sure, but they were not '“me.”

Those of us who have gone through, or are going through, physical challenges, ours or those of the ones we love, understand the depth and the gifts of these losses. We are forced to look beyond what our bodies have been programmed to tell us. We have the opportunity to let go of fear. Again, and again.

The Gordian Knot of an old life can be cut through to the underlying fear/loss with Source’s “sword.” There are ways to deconstruct an ego in swaths that cut through all constructs. There are ways to do this more slowly and more gently, yes. Most prefer those. In this life and others, I have tended to be an Alexander-ian kind of girl. ;) I do love my swords!

Then again, Kali is nothing if not surgically precise. There is a way to allow Source to wield the sword of truth without having to experience physical death. We do begin again, we do start over, in this body and this life. Only it is no longer the same body or the same life. No one ever said it would be easy. I can report, however, that the end-game leaves one navigating worlds of wonder. These worlds are the support I’ve always known was present and whose seeds I brought here, with me. You will have your own seed crystals, your own ribbons of light you bundled within to weave into Gaia’s tapestry. You can feel this truth. That is where we all begin. We start to trust our feelings.

I entered this life with certainty. It has never left me, despite all circumstances that might indicate otherwise. You have, within you, this knowing, this certainty. One of the opportunities available to us, at this time, is that of remembering. Re-membering into these bodies, our current lives, what we truly are.

What did you bring with you? Those gifts are, first and foremost, for you. You will be their emissary, should you so choose. You will share these gifts, as you are guided to do so, in ways that bring you joy. Light is intelligence. It knows what to do. No matter what.

This new calendar year holds an entry ramp into what can be. How will we make it so? By letting go of who we thought (and were taught) we were here to be. We own no fixed identity. We have no fixed path of perceiving. We are a streaming flow of Divine Love. And we are adamantly so.

Why do I share these things? WIIFM? I love watching the light. I honor its expansion within you, as you.

What nourishes you? Where is the frequency of true nurturing, your bundle embodies?

Love to you as you morph in place.

People say they don’t want to read anymore. Pity, that. But, you’re here and this transmission is formed through the written word, so maybe that is not entirely the case?