Compromised Heart Energy

What is clearing? What is being replaced with wholeness? What am I DOING? And, most importantly, “What am I being?”

What I am being, this week, is patient.

The jewel of the recent full moon, only a week ago, is one of harmony, peace, and balance. Unlike the first three jewels of this passage, this energy is not only ferociously gently infusing our worlds, it is pushing in in a major way. Here comes the eclipse window! Let’s get ready!

So, of course, fresh, love-based energies push out what will not thrive in new conditions. Unhealthy patterns pop up to be released. Yes, we know this. What we may not have expected is their thorough routing from our physical bodies.

I woke on Easter Sunday morning feeling odd. Not quite all there… which can indicate many things. As I moved into wishing my housemate a joyous birthday and made tea for myself, I realized I did not feel all that well. Hmm. I realized I had not been ill for almost four years. Hurray! What a gift! What was this?

My housemate had been ill for a week, after spending three days traversing cancellations and re-routing at CDG and LAX, respectively. She arrived home thoroughly exhausted and, in her words, “toxic. “ We kept our distance and, lo and behold, she presented with symptoms the very next morning. So, we kept our distance. One does. We know how to take care of our bodies, so nothing seemed to be amiss. Over the week, she began to feel a bit better.

Then, on Easter Sunday morning, as she rallied to celebrate her birthday, I felt ill. “Well, pooh {yes I used another word}” ran through my mind, but also, I wondered if this was truly a contagion, or if something else was happening. I learned, in short order, that my father, who has been having health challenges, was going into hospital again for an out-patient procedure. I have felt my mother’s presence lately, and her concern. Not a concern for whether he might pass from his body or not, but the ‘how’ of it. How conscious will he allow himself to be? Will he give in to fear? Will those around him know how to help keep that from happening?

That is the question for us all. I listened to that for my own body. Was she ill? The answer was, “realigning.” I’ve known how to tell the difference for decades now, so it was not a surprise. It feels ill, but what is happening is that what is balanced is taking over from what still holds resistance in any form. I remembered that, and the symptoms set in. “Mahvelous…” That night was not fun.

My housemate thinks I “caught” what she brought home. Some of you might think that as well. I can’t help what anyone else thinks. What I can do, is offer an alternate scenario.

I had scheduled this week “off” from appointments and such. I had been happily anticipating a stretch of time to concentrate on writing. Source had other ideas. It’s certainly not the first time. So, rather than spend the week in a writing flow, I’ve spent it quietly resting, mostly in silence. My body has been unable to do much else.

I used to be one of those who took remedies and trundled off to work. I never understood people who went to bed with headaches or colds {except migraines} or said they had “spent a week in bed” instead of working. And, I thought those confusions on my part, had ended with the stroke I experienced years ago. Apparently not. Apparently, in this time of karmic completions, it behooves one to let the karmas complete. I keep hearing, “let it go.” And, I have no clear mental picture of what “it” might be. I can feel the movement, however. Deep currents of total, unconditional change. No wonder so many are terrified and acting out.

Then there’s this. My father was back in hospital for another procedure, and the pathology report is less than encouraging, at least from his point of view. And, for my sister, who is the boots on the ground in this situation, it’s a lot. She is dealing with his projected fear and her own. I am constantly amazed, watching her walk into that fire. At this point in her life, she even knows what she’s doing. She feels the obligation, but chooses the love. Now, if she’ll only choose that for herself as well. That goes for us all.

When someone is close to leaving the body, unless they have deeper training, they tend to latch on to the closest life force they can. It isn’t generally malicious, only desperate. My sister feels like she’s drowning. Better, when I can remind her who she is, at her core. And then, Source takes over.

Stoic, stubborn Scot that he is, my father will only accept so much love and support. I so get it. I inherited the tendencies. And, his support system is rallying ‘round and not letting him do the aloof dance. It’s heart-warming to feel and to see. My sister is starting to smile again, and to laugh at the performance. Bless her.

We all sign up for what we sign up for, in any lifetime. As with childbirth, the pain will not be what stays with us, but the wonder and the joy of what we were able to create and/or transcend It’s time to glean the wisdom from the lessons, and let the lessons go. We will no longer play the same roles. Impossible, in new vibrations. Why would we?

I can feel the writing being done, somewhere under the bonnet, along with what is being newly configured. It will surface when it is ready. And, this ‘last’ vestige of planning can go. What was the point, anyway? Source is the doer and I’m more than willing to be done.

Until this part of the shift completes, I am listening, and letting go.

May we all gain proficiency in this art and awareness.
Much love,