Let's Talk Freedom

As things tighten, nooses, fists, our guts…what might freedom feel like? When we think of freedom, we typically begin with what needs to change. We start with where we feel constricted. This is a habit born of everything we’ve been taught thus far. That was the old cycle. That was then, this is N.O.W.

Freedom may be differently defined for each of us, we may have our own constructs, our boxes, and labels, as to what freedom means. What does it boil down to, for you? When do you feel free?

Hint: This is not about the mind, it comes from the heart.

For me, it is to be free to choose, to commit, and to become. When anything violates that freedom, it is non-resonant, and, therefore toxic to my being. Once that became clear, and it did take decades of do-overs, life shifted instantly and undeniably. In my favor. And, yes, that looks like loss to many others.

Funnily enough, I looked at my monthly income {from one source only} the day before the new moon and it acted like a wake-up call. Shite! Well, that’s weird. I am always taken care of. Do you know the feeling? It isn’t really a wake-up, but it is? I have been listening to a business coaching course, why I couldn’t tell you, except that a connection was made that Source needed to happen. NOT the one I thought might occur.

And, I had the profound realization of remembering the person I used to be. She had a foot in business and was very good at what she did, and a foot in Source, because… always. As I moved into the Observer, I looked at the one offering the course, who is doing something similar. I recognized the archetypal split. I recognized myself, and, that this split is largely one of what people call masculine/feminine, energetically. A polarization of Essence, running along the fences of collective norms.

You’ve heard me state, emphatically at this point, that energy is energy and I am completely bloody exhaustified {word borrowed from Louisa May Alcott} of hearing about genderization and that split. The quote from Little Women, “I’m exhaustified of being the boy!” is spoken by the character of Amy March, for anyone interested.

So, it was instructional to see the split, as I had partly embodied it, so clearly. This person’s way of navigating it is different than mine was. He states that if he has spent a few hours in business mode, he can’t easily flip into intuitive mode. It takes some time. I can report that it was never that way for me. The intuitive has always been there, was always there, and the deep well of what is Source within me has always been recognized as such. This was part of the setup for me, coming in. And yet, the truth of what I was seeing was me.

While this gentleman’s split manifests in a very uplifted and beneficial form that appears to work, for him, my version stopped working for me. This guy mirrors a form that had been mine. I found I could be with the configuration I was observing, integrate the idea of the split, and move on. The gentleman in question will hopefully do the same, when and as he is ready to do so. Hopefully, before the split becomes oh, so painful.

You may not be ready for your life to shift Source’s way…in spite of, or flying in the face of, what you believe and/or how you think things ought to be. You want freedom on your terms. Fair enough. If this is so, it is because your essence can sense what will happen and more of you is not ready for that transition than wants to surrender. Whatever your currently identified position, be gentle with yourself.

I described this week’s energies, earlier today, as “Armageddon on crack.”That about sums it up. So, gentle and committed surrender is advised. One breath at a time.

That might sound strange, coming from me, as I am a vehement advocate for surrender. So, let me explain. The energies are so strong right now that each baby step becomes a leap of faith. Flinging oneself into the unknown is fun, but right now there is too much of the ‘used-to-be-known’ milling about in the collective for this to be optimal. Surrender, but gently. Do it in small, chewable, bites. You’ll know when to leap. Commit, and Source will provide the push.

What can happen, otherwise? Kablooie. I once knew a person who offered up “unconditional surrender” to her guru, against the advice of that teacher. The woman was admonished that she was not yet ready for “unconditional.” Just to be clear, “not ready” means that there is still too much cleanup work to be done. Better to do that, first, without making a lifetime meal of it. Better to have one’s affairs in order, so to speak. Good advice for now, as well. This woman ignored her guru’s advice. She insisted on unconditional surrender.

Next thing anyone knew, her business had tanked, the living space she had meticulously arranged for her foster son somehow sponsored a huge rat, right in the middle of a social services visit, {so that went well} and her house actually split in half and part of it began to slide off a cliff. I kid you not. She. Lost. Everything. associated with her old life. Source provided the wrecking crew. And, she was not yet inwardly or outwardly prepared for that level of dissolution. She became frantic, despairing, and really really angry…at everyone else. Which, of course, was her self-betrayal talking.

This type of scenario generally only happens when we surrender too much, too soon, out of an egoic need to excel or be seen or for the pain to cease, or…something. Better to listen, deeply, and move as we are guided. And, before you get all comfortable with not making changes…

Souce’s crew also happens when we hold on too long. My hand is way up here.

Or, when we shift paradigms and the old life simply has to end. A few months ago, I kept being prompted to watch one of Sadhguru’s videos on YouTube. The title was “Enlightened Beings Have More Karma Than Anyone Else.” Or, something like that. I’m probably misquoting. I was so not interested. Not out of fear, or eye-rolling anti-dogmatic sentiment, but because things actually do not work that way, title-guy. Except…

When I finally surrendered and watched the video, Sadhguru said this one line, “When you become fully enlightened the old life dies.” I was riveted. I knew that was what had happened to mine, and I was okay with it, and yet…He continued, “My old life fell apart, including my business. I had no money, and my health fell apart, I became very ill.” I recognized my pattern, and those of the many enlightened ones who lived for only a short time, post-light-conversion. And yet, I’m still here. So is Sadhguru, and he’s out riding motorcycles. I admit that is my favorite image of him. Sunglasses, turbaned, with beard flying. Classic!

There is now, and maybe it was always there, the option to continue on, in a different life. Is this a timeline jump? Partially, in my observation. The old life ends. That timeline is no longer resonant, relevant, or available. If one tries to put a foot, or any appendage, back into that timeline, physical issues result. We are backed into our own essence, our own fields, with a “Nothing else will work,” mandate. And, so often, we ignore the support, because it is scary or inconvenient.

The way most awakening ones do this is to continue on with a mission they believe to be theirs. I can attest to that, in those I work with, and, especially in myself. “But, this is the mission,” or, “But if I quit doing/being this, who will I be?” Or, “This is the done thing.” The latter has been mine to own. It is the voice of spiritualized ego. Pure and simple. Not good or bad, just…no longer in alignment with what is happening. So, deep breath and surrender, unconditionally, once again. Another life ends, and another and another, and again and again. It does become fun after a while! Can’t wait to see what She, as me, creates next!

I’m witnessing the nested orbs of reality construct I’ve traversed for this and other lives. Fascinating. Shell programs do not shift unless and until we make that choice. And, we have to see them. first. I’m ready for that shift. I’m ready for something new.

When I went through a rather crunchy and disturbing, classic kind of dark night period, I was told that I was “through.” With what, I didn’t know. Now that I have a better handle on the phases of enlightened embodiment, I have some idea. That was the dissolution of my “personal history,” of vibrations left unintegrated and unloved by that ‘me’ person I used to be. It was very personal.

This latest collective Armageddon-on-crack is bringing up all of that unacceptable and unlovable stuff as I’ve projected those feelings onto the collective. My response has mostly been, “Wow,” in a kind of hushed and gobsmacked whisper/howl. Roshini would have fallen over laughing. Didn’t see that coming. Glad it’s here. She’s glad she’s not.

All of the energies we bind into projection, expectation, and other patterns, keep us from our freedom. Fixed energies are neither free nor freeing. They are how we’ve lied to ourselves, all along. Good stories, many of them! Fun to experience! Knowledge gained, skills honed! And, those lives, those stories, the roles we’ve played, have ended.

Truth may set us free, and I have found that to be so, but Love holds the key. Divine, unconditional, unapologetic, Creative Essence. Love.

I wrote earlier that, for me, to be free is to be able to choose, to commit, and to become, as Source leads the way. Free to BE. How does Source accomplish this miracle through us? Always through the heart. It is the only way.

Have you walked through that portal? And, more importantly, let it close behind you? Let the portal divorce you from old timelines, tracks, and trajectories, and fling you into YOU? { It’s so good! The BEST! Why don’t you just do it?!}

Dissolution into the heart happens over and over, ubiquitous in its application.

What are you willing to choose, commit to, and, perhaps, become? What do you think that means? Whatever you think, that ain’t it, kid. Trust me on this. However we think this is going to go is what is being demolished beneath our feet.

And that is the very very good and most excellent news! Dive into your heart. It will never fail you.

Surf well and wisely,
Nalini