Refinement is not Perfection

This month is an alignment in refining what moves us forward and letting go of everything else. Everything. Else.

The Virgo full moon brought a wave of refining energy with it, and we are now afloat in its wake. Like the finest of sandpapers, immersion in this wave hones the brilliance of our inner Essence. What falls away is no longer needed on our journey. This sloughing off, deep letting go, is the only way through this year’s passage. The. Only. Way. And, of course, we will each dance this dance in our own unique patterns.

Have you ever met anyone who seems to think refinement means some kind of diva trip, where tea is drunk with a raised pinkie, all swear words are considered to be “low vibe,” and mucking about in what is most people’s day to day is beneath them? Pretentious and boring? Is that observation or judgement? It depends, does it not? Behaviors are the least offenders in the energetic refinement process. It is how we vibrate that matters, and what matters, manifests.

One of the most lovely physical embodiments of Oneness I have ever encountered was a simple man who served as caretaker on a property in the Yucatan. He dug footers for walls, built those stone walls with his hands, tended the garden, and looked after the animals. He was glad of the work, glad to be able to provide for himself and his family. His own garden was a thing of wonder, providing sustenance for his entire neighborhood. He always sang to the soil and the plants. He hummed to the water in the cenotes beneath the floating raft of Earth’s crust that is the Yucatan peninsula. He could often be seen conversing with birds and iguanas, mimicking their sounds and behaviors. This man was happy in his life. He loved his world.

When excellence meant being good…

Decades ago, I had a mystery school teacher. He used to say that the level of energy {light} he was able to transmit to any student depended upon their level of intrinsic “goodness.” While there are many interesting inaccuracies about that statement, the result, for some of us, was that we felt we should become paragons of goodness. What did I think that meant? The desire to embody the Great Light morphed into spiritual perfectionism, and I became, admittedly, a pious idiot in some ways. Ambition took the lead from surrendered inspiration. And then, the Great Mother took over.

The “Odor of Sanctity” never works, by the way, and sets one up for episodes of dark night drama. Perhaps, in the martyrdom cycle, that was the point. No pain, no gain. Am I being low vibe when I write “calling bullshit?” I called it on myself, enough times. And, even in so doing, I have been judged as “superior,” “arrogant,” and egotistically willful. We are all those things, and exhibit those vibrations, from time to time. It happens when our heads take over from our hearts.

The programming to “be good” is hard-wired into most female bodies. Behave, keep sweet, ad nauseum, and survive. Nothing was ever said or written about how a hard-wired connection to, and embodiment of, the Great Mother rendered all such attempts at salvation ridiculous. Reverence is one thing, pious pretentiousness tastes bad, pure and simple.

Excellence vs. Oneness ~ Is there a Reconciliation?

The pursuit of excellence, any kind of excellence, is an egoic ambition. Have we judged this as good or bad? If we desire to meditate perfectly, is that inspiration or ambition? It depends, does it not?

I’ve been sitting with the concept of excellence lately. I have been meditating with the deep release of this construct, and how it has related to all various roles I’ve played or aspired to play.

I once wrote, to my mystery school teacher, “Teach me to fly like that!” quoting Richard Bach’s Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Yes, I was inspired. And, yes, it was spiritualized ego, or superego, as some call this mental construct. My mind turned the yearning of my heart into an ambition, and I never noticed. At least I never noticed until my years of spiritual training brought it to my attention, over and over again. I was asked, “WHY do you want to be enlightened?” “What does playing that role mean to you?” When I sputtered that it was not a role but a BEING, most of those who asked the question, laughed.

Many people answer that question out of a denied desire to be out of pain. Physical pain, emotional pain, psychic pain… most beginning spiritual practitioners yearn after bliss and ecstasy the way a junkie lusts after the next fix. “I want to feel better.” Fair enough… and this most recent wave of refinement is offering more than that. Time to slow down, open up, and let it in. Time to be absorbed in the Great Light, the Great Mother’s Love, and let that lead. It will lead to new roles, responsibilities, and new places. How could it do otherwise?

I’ve been sitting with the concept of excellence lately. i have been meditating with the deep release of this identity, and how it has related to all various roles I’ve played or aspired to play.

Jonathan Livingston Seagull vs Maverick…

Which would you pick? Source sometimes points me to films to answer my questions with gestalts rather than words. And, so, I recently watched Top Gun: Maverick, though this genre has less than zero interest for me these days. I expected the ego, but not the moments of heart. Interesting, from a cultural observer’s point of view. Hmm. For those who have seen the film, the exchange between Maverick and Ice, as matured characters, brought me to tears. As I wondered why, I realized it was about letting go. What still needs to be released?

During my decades as a martial artist I returned to the film Best of the Best, a few times, mostly for the lessons regarding integrity vs. ego. And, the Tae Kwon Do was well done. Not my style, but educational. It’s very Hollywood. To be the best, one had to overcome great obstacles, persevere through much pain, in other words, be a martyr, denying the inherent practical self-care we all require… and the ultimate reward would be…lather, rinse, repeat. Endless struggle with no good outcomes.

The title Best of the Best came up as I was prompted to watch Maverick. I could feel the disquiet in my body but my mind had not yet caught up with the process being purged. There is so much and it is so deep, at the moment, that words can be a challenge.

Then, I remembered Jonathan, the seagull whose drive for excellence pushed him beyond the boundaries of his flock, and into what he thought would be an ultimate form of existence. It was, for a time. And then, he was told he was ready to fly up and learn the meaning of love. This is refinement in action, which sometimes begins as a misunderstood quest for perfection. As Jonathan strove for a perfect curve, or more speed, he was feeding aspiration and ambition. When he began with “level flight” with some interested beginners, he began to love.

Where does the impulse come from to excel? If from the heart, inspired impulsing always leads us home. If from the head, or any form of deeply-embedded ego, well… we’ll end up, best case, in a bardo called “our definition of heaven” which will generally not be AT ALL what our Source Essence dreamed we might manifest this time around. And, of course, that will dissipate in classic “crash and burn” style. We’ll burn out or “burn in” as the pilots say.

Or, we can surrender any and all agendas into the Source that we are, the True Nature that we have always been, and let go of all the roles and games we incarnated to play. It’s been fun…and no one earns their wings by being a badass. Now THAT’s funny!

The incoming higher frequencies are meant to carry us. Our only doing is to allow this and to receive what has been ours all along.

Let the waves come in! What you won’t be, is sorry. Anything else? We’ll have to be patient and see.